So tonight was the most clear moment of my life.

I never realized how much I hurt you, how many wrongs I set between us.  I'm sorry doesn't justify the anguish I feel about how I've been.  I'm So sorry.

Moving towards strange ground.

This weekend, heading towards brown state park, returning on Sunday.  So that means, No blog posts ( oh noes!)   The bright side is, I'll be in the woods back to black if you will.  Going to chill with a bunch of hippies maybe, take some pictures, hopefully bring back tons of photos and memories.  Kinda apprehensive of the group that will surely be there to greet, however I believe I can make the best of any situation in the woods!  Considering running over and grabbing my climbing kit so I can go rock climbing or caving, though I suspect time factors will greatly limit my ability to delve into those realms.

That's all for now...

A glimpse at this week thus far.

I will start out with a picture of Monday

That's right ladies, I'm in the bathroom, I figured I hadn't taken a picture of myself in several months.  I've lost a lot of weight, more to go, but that's a different story, for a different day.








That was yesterday ( Monday April 11th 2011)  today was a much sleepier looking fellow. I arrived at the office 15 minutes early, and then left to pick up a client to go shopping with.  upon arriving at the store, we realized the store did not open until 9am.  We head back to my office, and I decided to take a few minutes to clean and add a few new items to my 'office survival kit.'  This was a great idea, because I had a few items I no longer needed(didn't care for the taste) and needed to also clean the rest of my desk( oddly enough it actually happened.)  This is the result:



Onto other things.  We have been paperless at my business since my arrival,( two years and some change) meaning we no longer are paper based, we use a fancy online system.  Apparently I didn't get the memo on the definition of paperless, and Webster's couldn't help me either.

That's the tip of the iceberg.  Apparently we have an entire room left to shred, which should be quite interesting, and probably sorta fun.




I've noticed lately I've been what one might call, misanthropic.  This is probably due to the truism that I generally live by, " people tend to suck."  I've been around more people lately than I'm used too, which is quite good in reality, but not entirely fun.  It's a great explanation for this but, I'm not certain it's a logical excuse.  I should probably suck it up, and start to enjoy my human interactions, they are quite important it would seem.  Maybe I'm just in a particularly bad mood today, or maybe it's in the water, but it's here.  The weather is changing, and I've noticed I have a predilection towards being outside, and being around people in summer, I just don't think the other half of my brain has caught up with the season.


Also, a good buddy of mine is probably well along on his journey to the other side of the world, the desert(afgan desert to be as specific as I'd like to be.)  He is a great dude, and I wish him the best on his journey.

Another interesting thing of note, the toe oddly hurts like hell one moment, and not at all the next.  It needs to make it's mind up, and I hope it just stops hurting, it would be beneficial to the entire world  I fear.

Also, Meeting with a good friend tomorrow, about a possible new opportunity, which is great.  Could mean a website, an that means hosting / cloud computer / servers / ect all just for internet stuff.  This is a physical location, and we would have to get much more in the way of physical stuff as well.  It could be huge, could be amazing and great, but I digress.


That's all for now...

In a dream, I was a werewolf.

This morning is filled with CoCoRosie, not a bad place to be in a somber morning filled with mist and drainage.  Sinus hell, and toe hell, it's like this toe is causing a myriad of alternate symptoms completely unrelated, but nonsensical just by proxy. 

Today should be pretty awesome, I started out with a fruit smoothie, and a cup of beautiful java.  The next project is going to be  shopping for the clubhouse, post that, paperwork and work in the kitchen.  Yeah, that's my day dudes.  Tomorrow doctor, meeting, hugs, and ponies.

More later...

What a day indeed.

Today seemed to drag on for me, I'm in some pain, and in a terrible mood.  My head hurts, to add insult to injury.

In other news, saw Joseph for a minute, and he was pretty out there in the realm of pissed/obsessed with this gathering this weekend.  I'm not even certain I will be able to make it due to this toe thing.  I'm sure that's a Thursday night decision that I'll have to make.  The problem with the entire thing is he plans on having massive amounts of people in a place he's not familiar with, or even told where to go as of the moment.  Time is ticking, and we are all lost.

In other news, I really am getting sick of this whole scene.  I'm bored of the childish games played in this area, and probably all areas.  I really want to get this upcoming project under way so I can move onto the next phase of my life.  Beyond that, I can't really talk about what this plan is, but hopefully it will be amazing and beautiful.

more later...

late night headaches.

this gorgeous weather today provided lots of heat and humidity, something my body has not experienced in a while.  This is leading me to a profound headache, imagine a hammer and a egg... if you will.

While all this is going on, I hear my brother, nay his stereo pumping bass rhythms into my wall at a rate which will surely prohibit sleep from entering my head.  My solution was to go into his room and ask him to turn it down, of course he's a hard sleeper( hence the loud music and still sleeping.)  So plan B turn it off myself, ended up kicking something with my toe, wincing and then finally reaching my destination at the stereo, a few seconds of fumbling resulted in less noise, and more peace in my room.

  Now I am watching a show where people live around water, and their interactions within, quite interesting.  They spent four years making this, quite a interesting journey, and epic waste of time I would imagine.  Four years, 1 hour of television, that must hurt...  Where do they get funding for that?  How do you approach a company and ask for funding for such a project? 

Hey everyone I need an unlimited budget, and no time limit, and I'll make you one sweet TV show...


I bet that went over well.


Sleep now.

gorgeous day.

Oddly enough, the Toe hurts super bad, but when in Vibram Five Fingers, no pain, go figure.  Today has been filled with laying outside soaking up Vitamin D, and reading my Hunter S. Thompson book.  Days like Today make me very happy, just being me.  Sometimes in life we tend to get jaded to our own situation, brought down by life.  I feel like my day-to-day routine drains me of my creativity, much like steel to the grinder.  Days like today, build me up, make me whole again.  I missed warm weather, sure I hate being hot, but it's so rejuvenating and powerful.  I long for the first spring storm, thunder booming, filling the entire sky with firelight and cannon bursts in the distance.  I love waking up to rain, even more, working in it

Other news, the Trees are starting to bud in a big way, this is exciting as that means we will soon have flowers on this particular tree, which is very exciting!

Also Chives are starting to arrive which is a good indication that I should eat them.  Need to cook outside very soon, must have grill time!  Not sure about when to start planting a garden, or even if I should this year, but I think maybe some potted herbs would be nice, just a quick set-up nothing to complicated or sophisticated.






So as the day slowly draws to an end ( well the productive part of the day) I am very grateful for all of the little things it would seem, the little windmill in the front yard for example, that for no other reason than spite, persistently spins in whatever direction it pleases.  I can remember at least three occasions when I've had to pick up the windmill from the other side of the yard and move it back to it's home.  It's astonishing that it even functions. 

5:55pm. I've been writing for an entire 10 minutes now, probably too much time invested in being easily distracted, and not as much in quality wordsmithing.  Oh well, that's what you get for the day!  Have a good one...